A life full of Fucking calculations.....

Intellectuals, Freedom, Crazy, Inspiring,  Speed, Thought Provokers, Adventurous, Crackers, Insane, Fliers, Joyous…….can u see a common zeal in these words, sure these words are not synonyms and I aint suggesting that, I am talking about the feel of these words and a lot more in and outside my vocab.

Often, one come across a person who can best be associated with one or more of these words.  Nobody would mind being associated with such traits but still, not everybody can be associated with them.  Why is it so…….arent we supposed to be intellectual, thoughtful, a little crack, little hungry, risk takers, fault makers, funny, bunny….all of it then, why aren't all of us like that. Why….

I have been wondering about the calculations I, by default, do without really storming my brains out, its inculcated in me and I do it everywhere, many times a day. What kind of calculations, finding 'X' in trigonometry, of course NOT, else I would have had that supreme IIT tag which would have then taken care of everything in my life from job to wife to kids to consultancy till cremation…..so, lets not go there!!!

This bloody society taught me to live not a free life but a calculated life where they have standards defined to good vs bad, cool vs sad, great vs foolish, right vs wrong, beautiful vs ugly, intelligent vs insane, poor vs rich,  oh sorry!!! Rich vs poor…( RICH should always come first…awwww!!!),  all is defined by the society and I follow. Basically, you are supposed to be the first in the first vs second, all the time….

I have been calculating everyday without realizing that most of it is indirectly related to money and money itself is not that important. " I hear a lot of NO, NO, NO YOU ARE NOT TOTALLY RIGHT here but….sincerely, don’t give a damn, they had been shouting all this time ".

So, what do I calculate, I calculate MBA vs JOB, I calculate how much medical/life insurance I need to sustain the same lifestyle ( as if I am ultra happy in the present lifestyle!!) , I calculate when should I get married, I calculate who should I get married…smart girl but not over smart….oh yess!!!,  I calculate  where should I buy a house, or where can I buy a house, I foolishly predict property prices for the next 5 years, I calculate how many beers did I take last night, I calculate when did I last have sex, I calculate which job will give me what without knowing what is it exactly, I calculate which friends are close enough to have my birthday treat, I calculate number of Diwali gifts, I calculate past, future, happiness, sadness, every damn thing!!!!…….

Crazy part is, all of it implies that I know what I want to have, dats why I am calculating RIGHT??, but, I JUST DON’T KNOW, how can I be so foolish, what am I doing here, what am I doing severely wrong.

It hurts one individuality, it hurts badly when one realizes that I could have been different, only if given a chance. These standards were not in line with what I could have defined for myself, now that’s unfair. That guy bloody was born to do something else and the society made him one of its own types and then they call us Settled……my foot…..score is not settled yet….!!!!

I don’t have a solution here and I am not even sure that will I ever stop calculating at least in this life, I only have this unclear problem, this nag of calculations. May be, that is the way it will continue since I am here, living here, around people, around things, around standards, around give and take, a lot of it.

But I shall never stop thinking and wishing of a FREE world around, who are living in the present, enjoying every moment, striving/pursuing for only-only Happyness, ultimate happyness, ready to help others, not doing excessively bad things, being who they are, being who they were supposed to be, being the best they can be, explorers not settlers, risk takers not fuckers, fuckers but not bad fuckers…u know…….!!!

Have I made this writing too confusing or is it  clear ( See am again calculating !!!! )…..u get it….good….u don’t get it….fuck off with no stars in this fuck…….!!!!!

!!!....Peace…..!!!

The Simple Life....

Lifez complicated, isnt it......dilemmas around career, girls, kids, purpose, humans, among many, exist all the time. Often, we dwell ourselves into it without realisation of the same. Imagine, if we were driven by rules to be strictly followed, if the nurse at the time of our respective births, hand over a set of rules to our parents but then, we aint a generation who like rules. We like to break free, break rules ( Latest example is the new CWG lane traffic rule that we broke quite often and will continue till 14th Oct.' 2010 ). We like to live free and explore rather than, being subdued and content with false security around.

Emotions - part of life and according to many surveys by many researchers, more than 70% of our decisions are driven by emotions. In the stock markets too, emotions let people follow the herd and make bad investment decisions and lose money never to be returned. What one should do is to control the emotions among all the noise around, have rules and follow them diligently cutting the herd mentality, however, it aint so easy esp. when money is involved. Rules/Ideologies can be many in the stock markets, trick is to follow them diligently and when one does, success is almost guranteed.

This made me wonder that, inspite of our utter non-interest, life too has some rules or should we call them principles. Some eternal words which are beyond caste, creed, social status, religions, regions, nations and applies to human on planet earth, which can also act as a lighthouse in the ocean of confusions and mysteries.

So, thinking of this,  i started jotting down some of theses principles as and when i thought of one, thanks to the notepad in nokia, this is what i could think of in the last one month or so, as principles attached to life, needless to mention agreeing/following them  is purely voluntery::

* Learn to forgive, it relieves the forgiver more than the forgiven.
* Respect nature, be along, lest one shall fall
* Spread love, justice, peace, wisdom and fight anger, egos and injustice
* Have no regrets, only learn, look forward to life and live in the present
* Keep in mind "" What soever a man soweth, so shall he reap ""
* Introspect and continue to improve the Self
* Dont live blindly, have a purpose, dont know yet, then at least try to find one for urself from today
* Try to do a good deed everyday. Knowing present state of affairs with me at least, one in a week will also be big leap forward.
* Respect and love elders, mean all elders and not just the one related. Infact, respect human, every soul, Be kind.
* Dont be bounded by time and age, take risks, time is eternal. P.S. - i rly like this one.
* Believe in yourself, there is enough that you still have to unravel and their lies the energy, the spark.
* All are excited about exploring outside world, U explore inside, explore Youself. P.S. - & this one too

Now these, by no means, are complete for life but sure are the ones one can come back for consideration.

Simple rules to read and know about but tough to follow in its true sense, again, trick is cut the noise around man.....guess u know what noise am talking abt...cheers....Peace!!!!