The Ego Satisfier - Human to Human

The idea is there, thoughts are there, headline is there, didnt have much time to write...but stay tuned for this one.....you can read previous ones for now....!!!

P.s - hope it didnt hurt anybody's ego...;) !!

A life full of Fucking calculations.....

Intellectuals, Freedom, Crazy, Inspiring,  Speed, Thought Provokers, Adventurous, Crackers, Insane, Fliers, Joyous…….can u see a common zeal in these words, sure these words are not synonyms and I aint suggesting that, I am talking about the feel of these words and a lot more in and outside my vocab.

Often, one come across a person who can best be associated with one or more of these words.  Nobody would mind being associated with such traits but still, not everybody can be associated with them.  Why is it so…….arent we supposed to be intellectual, thoughtful, a little crack, little hungry, risk takers, fault makers, funny, bunny….all of it then, why aren't all of us like that. Why….

I have been wondering about the calculations I, by default, do without really storming my brains out, its inculcated in me and I do it everywhere, many times a day. What kind of calculations, finding 'X' in trigonometry, of course NOT, else I would have had that supreme IIT tag which would have then taken care of everything in my life from job to wife to kids to consultancy till cremation…..so, lets not go there!!!

This bloody society taught me to live not a free life but a calculated life where they have standards defined to good vs bad, cool vs sad, great vs foolish, right vs wrong, beautiful vs ugly, intelligent vs insane, poor vs rich,  oh sorry!!! Rich vs poor…( RICH should always come first…awwww!!!),  all is defined by the society and I follow. Basically, you are supposed to be the first in the first vs second, all the time….

I have been calculating everyday without realizing that most of it is indirectly related to money and money itself is not that important. " I hear a lot of NO, NO, NO YOU ARE NOT TOTALLY RIGHT here but….sincerely, don’t give a damn, they had been shouting all this time ".

So, what do I calculate, I calculate MBA vs JOB, I calculate how much medical/life insurance I need to sustain the same lifestyle ( as if I am ultra happy in the present lifestyle!!) , I calculate when should I get married, I calculate who should I get married…smart girl but not over smart….oh yess!!!,  I calculate  where should I buy a house, or where can I buy a house, I foolishly predict property prices for the next 5 years, I calculate how many beers did I take last night, I calculate when did I last have sex, I calculate which job will give me what without knowing what is it exactly, I calculate which friends are close enough to have my birthday treat, I calculate number of Diwali gifts, I calculate past, future, happiness, sadness, every damn thing!!!!…….

Crazy part is, all of it implies that I know what I want to have, dats why I am calculating RIGHT??, but, I JUST DON’T KNOW, how can I be so foolish, what am I doing here, what am I doing severely wrong.

It hurts one individuality, it hurts badly when one realizes that I could have been different, only if given a chance. These standards were not in line with what I could have defined for myself, now that’s unfair. That guy bloody was born to do something else and the society made him one of its own types and then they call us Settled……my foot…..score is not settled yet….!!!!

I don’t have a solution here and I am not even sure that will I ever stop calculating at least in this life, I only have this unclear problem, this nag of calculations. May be, that is the way it will continue since I am here, living here, around people, around things, around standards, around give and take, a lot of it.

But I shall never stop thinking and wishing of a FREE world around, who are living in the present, enjoying every moment, striving/pursuing for only-only Happyness, ultimate happyness, ready to help others, not doing excessively bad things, being who they are, being who they were supposed to be, being the best they can be, explorers not settlers, risk takers not fuckers, fuckers but not bad fuckers…u know…….!!!

Have I made this writing too confusing or is it  clear ( See am again calculating !!!! )…..u get it….good….u don’t get it….fuck off with no stars in this fuck…….!!!!!

!!!....Peace…..!!!

The Simple Life....

Lifez complicated, isnt it......dilemmas around career, girls, kids, purpose, humans, among many, exist all the time. Often, we dwell ourselves into it without realisation of the same. Imagine, if we were driven by rules to be strictly followed, if the nurse at the time of our respective births, hand over a set of rules to our parents but then, we aint a generation who like rules. We like to break free, break rules ( Latest example is the new CWG lane traffic rule that we broke quite often and will continue till 14th Oct.' 2010 ). We like to live free and explore rather than, being subdued and content with false security around.

Emotions - part of life and according to many surveys by many researchers, more than 70% of our decisions are driven by emotions. In the stock markets too, emotions let people follow the herd and make bad investment decisions and lose money never to be returned. What one should do is to control the emotions among all the noise around, have rules and follow them diligently cutting the herd mentality, however, it aint so easy esp. when money is involved. Rules/Ideologies can be many in the stock markets, trick is to follow them diligently and when one does, success is almost guranteed.

This made me wonder that, inspite of our utter non-interest, life too has some rules or should we call them principles. Some eternal words which are beyond caste, creed, social status, religions, regions, nations and applies to human on planet earth, which can also act as a lighthouse in the ocean of confusions and mysteries.

So, thinking of this,  i started jotting down some of theses principles as and when i thought of one, thanks to the notepad in nokia, this is what i could think of in the last one month or so, as principles attached to life, needless to mention agreeing/following them  is purely voluntery::

* Learn to forgive, it relieves the forgiver more than the forgiven.
* Respect nature, be along, lest one shall fall
* Spread love, justice, peace, wisdom and fight anger, egos and injustice
* Have no regrets, only learn, look forward to life and live in the present
* Keep in mind "" What soever a man soweth, so shall he reap ""
* Introspect and continue to improve the Self
* Dont live blindly, have a purpose, dont know yet, then at least try to find one for urself from today
* Try to do a good deed everyday. Knowing present state of affairs with me at least, one in a week will also be big leap forward.
* Respect and love elders, mean all elders and not just the one related. Infact, respect human, every soul, Be kind.
* Dont be bounded by time and age, take risks, time is eternal. P.S. - i rly like this one.
* Believe in yourself, there is enough that you still have to unravel and their lies the energy, the spark.
* All are excited about exploring outside world, U explore inside, explore Youself. P.S. - & this one too

Now these, by no means, are complete for life but sure are the ones one can come back for consideration.

Simple rules to read and know about but tough to follow in its true sense, again, trick is cut the noise around man.....guess u know what noise am talking abt...cheers....Peace!!!!

Chasing Innocence....

What the hell can i write about Innocence....i hardly posses any degree of it or whatever  i may posses, do not really portray the same intentionally.....

However, this trait if we notice is really beautiful....u see...reason may be cos it is hardly seen in people around....or may be all, like a herd trying to smart each other out.....leaving no time or intentions for shitty innocence to fill in the air....Then, why am i chasing innocence or even getting down to writing about it.....isnt it something that can easily be substituted for foolishness and dumbness and should be done away with.....with no second thoughts esp in the times we live in....

I take my take as NO, the time i really realised and finalised about writin on innocence is when i noticed it in my dad and i notice it day in day out.....it is such an amazing and rare trait that he has that it almost leads to an inspiration to change yourself....he is like one of those " BEAN there DONE that " character and over most of these worldly pleasures and mostly into improving himself.....n first step towards improvement is by being innocent n actually mean every word he utters out of his mouth.....just that the heart beats are also supporting the words.....wow....even now it is sounding beautiful....

I look at myself and people around......if i calculate the percentage of things that i really mean out of all that i say in a day....i will push hard for passing percentage.....gawd...!!!

I can take shelter in the fact that the situations around demands us to be diplomatic but i aint trying to change anything, just pondering over the beauty of the trait and the loss of the same in us.....there has been a lot of hue and cry abt tigers loss....some about the loss of  innocence in humans should not hurt....!!!!

Peace....!!!

Myopic....are we?

This is for the "y" generation.......that is 'us'.....generation with loads of questions...and less answers......so unlike our parents who were rather happy taking life the way it was, accepting the rituals and measures to be followed.......sure we are not the same.....we dont take life and rituals the way they are coming to us or should i say, way they are imposed on us.....we question them @ every step.....sometimes right....sometimes just for our comfort to not follow them....but we are a little wacky n smart if one can say that....whether we should the blame the world wide web or the increasing GDP of our economy letting us more avenues, that is anybody's guess.....

Being from this so named 'y' generation, i sure get many questions in ma mind  about the way we live, why we survive, our aspirations, our lifestyle, the circle of life and vagerah vagerah......well!!! i dont want to get into philosophy here but cant help my writing letting me into it......its her fault, not mine...lolzz!!!

So, what should i talk about here, purpose of life, nah!!...how am i supposed to know that at 25, i will only have questions about it ''oh! didnt realise i just declared my age....nevermind'' .... then, lets talk about myopic sense of stuff.......long ago we did an assignment on marketing myopia dealing with myopic view of a business that one is into and its competitors.....well !! i feel the same applies to a lot of people in varied forms specially in a country like india filled with notions and poverty....few of them are quoted here....


* Small town boy changing his name from Amit to Sumit  in class second bcoz son of the tea shop vendor in front his house was also named Amit......oh boy!! how does it matter dude....newz myopic...
* Farmer giving away his crop to the local vendor at throw away prices until ITC e-choupal made them realise about the prices in the city n real worth of their stuff......again, so myopic!!
* Changing jobs for a meagre hike, myopic view towards career....we all know it still fall prey to it, take care!!!
* Not sure should we call this myopic, agreeing to marry a women after 2 meetings, y?, stuff is gud if u know wot i mean...newz myopic...
* Taking every advice right from career to laptop model to marriage from the same uncle whom your father thinks is the smartest uncle on planet earth..... so myopic...!!!

there can be a lot more to it....but i would like to get into our life n career n aspirations n comparisons made, not only by our respective mothers but we too......

At twenty five, we are bound to make comparisons about our professional growth....trying really hard to justify designation with age.....it is like one of those Speed Time and Distance problems....i have covered this much distance @ this speed in this less time to reach a senior Professional in this big firm....how about you??...awwww....!!!

I wonder if it is ok if we do that but why dont we continue doing this.......we dont compare an uncle aged 48 to an uncle aged 52 and their respective growth patterns...coz they fall under senior citizens now and done with everthing.....we rather presume it doesnt matter anymore without realising whether it should actually matter or not.....!!

At 25, i do have a plan that where i would want myself to be at 30.....and am also pretty sure that i aint goin to be there......coz i didnt have a shit idea 5 years ago about where i actually am today.....so the same shall continue....let life take charge of things.....

So my point is pretty simple that somewhere we do start taking life too myopically.....lyk it is gonna end @ 35 and we got 10 odd years to prove ourselves.....well!!! for sure, these are really important years shaping the career and all....but in the midst of this struggle......all that we plan goes some thing lyk this :::

" I plan to retire around 40 n then i will live in a small quiet place reading, playing and no stress in lyf " in different forms offcourse...

To me too, it is a perfect plan and have nothing against it......

but i would like to just keep it more simple n hopefully more effective which will be something like this:::

 "" i wont and should not be the same person that i am today one year down the line......even @ 59 if i know such and such stuff...@ 60.... i should posses more as a person....offcourse, at that age....personal growth will take charge and matter more.....but there should be growth all the more.....n all fields are open to me...from cooking to travelling to women to gardening to photography to astrology to sketching to music to yoga to.....innumerable stuff...!!!!""

This step by step approach and goals may take away the myopic sense that we tend to get into without realization of it.......i find this should work....but if somebody has a better idea....am open and all ears......

Here it is.....

Oh! here i am sitting in my room after receiving the best mail in 2-3 years or may be 'ever' received.......

No! it is not about george bush or pamela anderson or stock market mantras.....it is about me...!!!!!

Cant disclose what is it exactly about coz am not blogging to tell everyone whats happening in ma life but for the expression of my feelings, my thoughts.....

This feeling, that i have right now is of success, is of getting what i really wanted for a long time, a feeling of achievement, a sense of satisfaction and excitement about what follows next......

I see a life filled with light ahead....a journey just made more interesting, more adventurous, more uncertain but revealing......I am loving this moment.....i hope and pray, future is better than what i can envisage right now.....

I can go on and on about the moment..............but will thank you for now!!!......

Sometime there isnt anythin.....

I, as a small kidi blogger keep thinking about stuff that i can write about, loads of thoughts would knock the mind....sayin " yah!! this can be written about "...for example " if i see my massi/mami/similar creatures after a long gap, a new sense of aura would set around and i feel that, n then i would think of expressin it here OR if i see a family of 5 on one scooter under scorching delhi heat at a red light, i feel lyk writing about it "......

Having said all that, at times, i just do not feel the writing or the thoughts around are not enough to blog about.....but more than anything else, there should be stuff happening in life....something new...something to look forward to.....guess there is not much right now.....other than the ones already written about...!!!

Rush for office early morning....an eager wait for the evenings to arrive.....plans of reading the book lyin on the bed side for days now.....weekends are zoom in and zoom out.....boy!!!!....somebody should do something about it....n it can only be me.....lemme work on it n I WILL GET BACK TO YOU ASAP..."awwwwwww...they steal our lives...."!!!!