A life full of Fucking calculations.....

Intellectuals, Freedom, Crazy, Inspiring,  Speed, Thought Provokers, Adventurous, Crackers, Insane, Fliers, Joyous…….can u see a common zeal in these words, sure these words are not synonyms and I aint suggesting that, I am talking about the feel of these words and a lot more in and outside my vocab.

Often, one come across a person who can best be associated with one or more of these words.  Nobody would mind being associated with such traits but still, not everybody can be associated with them.  Why is it so…….arent we supposed to be intellectual, thoughtful, a little crack, little hungry, risk takers, fault makers, funny, bunny….all of it then, why aren't all of us like that. Why….

I have been wondering about the calculations I, by default, do without really storming my brains out, its inculcated in me and I do it everywhere, many times a day. What kind of calculations, finding 'X' in trigonometry, of course NOT, else I would have had that supreme IIT tag which would have then taken care of everything in my life from job to wife to kids to consultancy till cremation…..so, lets not go there!!!

This bloody society taught me to live not a free life but a calculated life where they have standards defined to good vs bad, cool vs sad, great vs foolish, right vs wrong, beautiful vs ugly, intelligent vs insane, poor vs rich,  oh sorry!!! Rich vs poor…( RICH should always come first…awwww!!!),  all is defined by the society and I follow. Basically, you are supposed to be the first in the first vs second, all the time….

I have been calculating everyday without realizing that most of it is indirectly related to money and money itself is not that important. " I hear a lot of NO, NO, NO YOU ARE NOT TOTALLY RIGHT here but….sincerely, don’t give a damn, they had been shouting all this time ".

So, what do I calculate, I calculate MBA vs JOB, I calculate how much medical/life insurance I need to sustain the same lifestyle ( as if I am ultra happy in the present lifestyle!!) , I calculate when should I get married, I calculate who should I get married…smart girl but not over smart….oh yess!!!,  I calculate  where should I buy a house, or where can I buy a house, I foolishly predict property prices for the next 5 years, I calculate how many beers did I take last night, I calculate when did I last have sex, I calculate which job will give me what without knowing what is it exactly, I calculate which friends are close enough to have my birthday treat, I calculate number of Diwali gifts, I calculate past, future, happiness, sadness, every damn thing!!!!…….

Crazy part is, all of it implies that I know what I want to have, dats why I am calculating RIGHT??, but, I JUST DON’T KNOW, how can I be so foolish, what am I doing here, what am I doing severely wrong.

It hurts one individuality, it hurts badly when one realizes that I could have been different, only if given a chance. These standards were not in line with what I could have defined for myself, now that’s unfair. That guy bloody was born to do something else and the society made him one of its own types and then they call us Settled……my foot…..score is not settled yet….!!!!

I don’t have a solution here and I am not even sure that will I ever stop calculating at least in this life, I only have this unclear problem, this nag of calculations. May be, that is the way it will continue since I am here, living here, around people, around things, around standards, around give and take, a lot of it.

But I shall never stop thinking and wishing of a FREE world around, who are living in the present, enjoying every moment, striving/pursuing for only-only Happyness, ultimate happyness, ready to help others, not doing excessively bad things, being who they are, being who they were supposed to be, being the best they can be, explorers not settlers, risk takers not fuckers, fuckers but not bad fuckers…u know…….!!!

Have I made this writing too confusing or is it  clear ( See am again calculating !!!! )…..u get it….good….u don’t get it….fuck off with no stars in this fuck…….!!!!!

!!!....Peace…..!!!

The Simple Life....

Lifez complicated, isnt it......dilemmas around career, girls, kids, purpose, humans, among many, exist all the time. Often, we dwell ourselves into it without realisation of the same. Imagine, if we were driven by rules to be strictly followed, if the nurse at the time of our respective births, hand over a set of rules to our parents but then, we aint a generation who like rules. We like to break free, break rules ( Latest example is the new CWG lane traffic rule that we broke quite often and will continue till 14th Oct.' 2010 ). We like to live free and explore rather than, being subdued and content with false security around.

Emotions - part of life and according to many surveys by many researchers, more than 70% of our decisions are driven by emotions. In the stock markets too, emotions let people follow the herd and make bad investment decisions and lose money never to be returned. What one should do is to control the emotions among all the noise around, have rules and follow them diligently cutting the herd mentality, however, it aint so easy esp. when money is involved. Rules/Ideologies can be many in the stock markets, trick is to follow them diligently and when one does, success is almost guranteed.

This made me wonder that, inspite of our utter non-interest, life too has some rules or should we call them principles. Some eternal words which are beyond caste, creed, social status, religions, regions, nations and applies to human on planet earth, which can also act as a lighthouse in the ocean of confusions and mysteries.

So, thinking of this,  i started jotting down some of theses principles as and when i thought of one, thanks to the notepad in nokia, this is what i could think of in the last one month or so, as principles attached to life, needless to mention agreeing/following them  is purely voluntery::

* Learn to forgive, it relieves the forgiver more than the forgiven.
* Respect nature, be along, lest one shall fall
* Spread love, justice, peace, wisdom and fight anger, egos and injustice
* Have no regrets, only learn, look forward to life and live in the present
* Keep in mind "" What soever a man soweth, so shall he reap ""
* Introspect and continue to improve the Self
* Dont live blindly, have a purpose, dont know yet, then at least try to find one for urself from today
* Try to do a good deed everyday. Knowing present state of affairs with me at least, one in a week will also be big leap forward.
* Respect and love elders, mean all elders and not just the one related. Infact, respect human, every soul, Be kind.
* Dont be bounded by time and age, take risks, time is eternal. P.S. - i rly like this one.
* Believe in yourself, there is enough that you still have to unravel and their lies the energy, the spark.
* All are excited about exploring outside world, U explore inside, explore Youself. P.S. - & this one too

Now these, by no means, are complete for life but sure are the ones one can come back for consideration.

Simple rules to read and know about but tough to follow in its true sense, again, trick is cut the noise around man.....guess u know what noise am talking abt...cheers....Peace!!!!

Myopic....are we?

This is for the "y" generation.......that is 'us'.....generation with loads of questions...and less answers......so unlike our parents who were rather happy taking life the way it was, accepting the rituals and measures to be followed.......sure we are not the same.....we dont take life and rituals the way they are coming to us or should i say, way they are imposed on us.....we question them @ every step.....sometimes right....sometimes just for our comfort to not follow them....but we are a little wacky n smart if one can say that....whether we should the blame the world wide web or the increasing GDP of our economy letting us more avenues, that is anybody's guess.....

Being from this so named 'y' generation, i sure get many questions in ma mind  about the way we live, why we survive, our aspirations, our lifestyle, the circle of life and vagerah vagerah......well!!! i dont want to get into philosophy here but cant help my writing letting me into it......its her fault, not mine...lolzz!!!

So, what should i talk about here, purpose of life, nah!!...how am i supposed to know that at 25, i will only have questions about it ''oh! didnt realise i just declared my age....nevermind'' .... then, lets talk about myopic sense of stuff.......long ago we did an assignment on marketing myopia dealing with myopic view of a business that one is into and its competitors.....well !! i feel the same applies to a lot of people in varied forms specially in a country like india filled with notions and poverty....few of them are quoted here....


* Small town boy changing his name from Amit to Sumit  in class second bcoz son of the tea shop vendor in front his house was also named Amit......oh boy!! how does it matter dude....newz myopic...
* Farmer giving away his crop to the local vendor at throw away prices until ITC e-choupal made them realise about the prices in the city n real worth of their stuff......again, so myopic!!
* Changing jobs for a meagre hike, myopic view towards career....we all know it still fall prey to it, take care!!!
* Not sure should we call this myopic, agreeing to marry a women after 2 meetings, y?, stuff is gud if u know wot i mean...newz myopic...
* Taking every advice right from career to laptop model to marriage from the same uncle whom your father thinks is the smartest uncle on planet earth..... so myopic...!!!

there can be a lot more to it....but i would like to get into our life n career n aspirations n comparisons made, not only by our respective mothers but we too......

At twenty five, we are bound to make comparisons about our professional growth....trying really hard to justify designation with age.....it is like one of those Speed Time and Distance problems....i have covered this much distance @ this speed in this less time to reach a senior Professional in this big firm....how about you??...awwww....!!!

I wonder if it is ok if we do that but why dont we continue doing this.......we dont compare an uncle aged 48 to an uncle aged 52 and their respective growth patterns...coz they fall under senior citizens now and done with everthing.....we rather presume it doesnt matter anymore without realising whether it should actually matter or not.....!!

At 25, i do have a plan that where i would want myself to be at 30.....and am also pretty sure that i aint goin to be there......coz i didnt have a shit idea 5 years ago about where i actually am today.....so the same shall continue....let life take charge of things.....

So my point is pretty simple that somewhere we do start taking life too myopically.....lyk it is gonna end @ 35 and we got 10 odd years to prove ourselves.....well!!! for sure, these are really important years shaping the career and all....but in the midst of this struggle......all that we plan goes some thing lyk this :::

" I plan to retire around 40 n then i will live in a small quiet place reading, playing and no stress in lyf " in different forms offcourse...

To me too, it is a perfect plan and have nothing against it......

but i would like to just keep it more simple n hopefully more effective which will be something like this:::

 "" i wont and should not be the same person that i am today one year down the line......even @ 59 if i know such and such stuff...@ 60.... i should posses more as a person....offcourse, at that age....personal growth will take charge and matter more.....but there should be growth all the more.....n all fields are open to me...from cooking to travelling to women to gardening to photography to astrology to sketching to music to yoga to.....innumerable stuff...!!!!""

This step by step approach and goals may take away the myopic sense that we tend to get into without realization of it.......i find this should work....but if somebody has a better idea....am open and all ears......

Fight to Stand Out.....

Stage gets set when we are laid down by the nurse on the hospital bed.......boy or a girl....fair or dark....fat or slim....how much does he/she weight....what were the expectations....are they being matched...acheived.....oh!!! "how cute n sweet" is one comment for sure....but the facts discussed before would decide how actually it is, according to them...!!!!

Brutal comparisons and fact finding aunties are all around a child life for all his heavenly child hood....i fail to understand what is there to fight for...so much competition when most of us end up cribbing about the work we get to do n find peace in another beer bottle....lyk i said in my last post " Our education hardly teaches us anything about the work we do, but our work does coz we practice it day in and day out"....thus, unnecessary burden is so unasked for....

So, what should one do....fight all his life to meet what is expected out of him/her....fire all what he got to stand out in the crowd......but does this thing end at any point when one can say that job is now completely done....AM FREE.....its lyk one of those bosses who is never satisfied......"Follow your passion" is a superb statement to make but does not come as easy as it sounds......
 
This is what i believe and hope ::: that all of us should be able to stand out or make a difference now that we have come to the party on earth......this can be in anything that one knows for oneself, in any damn field, be it an NGO, be it a preacher, be it a musician, be it a person who inspire others by his actions or style of living, be it by working for a social cause, be it a standup comedian who help people intake 3 but not 4 beer bottles, be it a yoga teacher who is being followed n liked by many senior citizens of a society.......stand out n make some difference some place that each one of us know that we can.....!!!!